trampoline

          

        Never again will I let my body get in physical contact with a trampoline. Never again will I let my eye balls peer at a trampoline, ever again. This vicious "play thing" kids some how enjoy. Kids should just bounce on the ground, or in water.  It is just as kinky, i guess.

        Silver metal bars raised about three and a half feet in the air, with metal springs that are attached to this elastic, circle, evil spandex like material that somehow makes you sky rocket into the air once you take just one bounce. Safe right? 

        This device should be against the law, in all states. I have this dumb, pointless device. This dangerous tool that somehow is a "happy activity" for complete losers. I have this devilish trampoline. It is in the back yard. I want people over to, have a bond fire, and roast marsh mallows over the flames. Lucky for this play thing, metal tends to not burn like wood.

Shucks.

A week and a half ago, I was outside with Taylor.  I was talking about this gnarly cheerleader type trick I could preform. Being my cocky self, I hopped on the trampoline and began bouncing. I jumped was continuously jumping high. I did a round off and spun around at the same time. Rather impressive, believe me i know. (just kidding)

When you bounce on trampolines and you want to stop bouncing -especially at the end of a trick- you tend to bend your knees a little bit in to "give in" and begin to decrease how high you jump.

Well when I landed my phenomenal trick, I did not "give in" -with my legs- and I flew vertically into my house, hit my head, then my back hit my house and I slip down the wall. I landed on my buttocks. Somehow, I never knew it was humanly possible to have your legs semi straight on the ground, and have your head slam into the ground. But apparently I am a sub species.

It is a weird thing, I have a high tolerance to pain. I got up from sitting on the floor, and bent over. I could hardly breath. I thought I was going to die -girls always exaggerate-. Once I stood up, I was laughing and said" like holy shitttt." Taylor stood there,  shocked by my reaction.

I fractured my ribs, and my but bone must be bruised on the inside. I have scrape marks along my back. 

Trampolines are the anti-Christ. 

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