I don't have a name.

I went to my doctor yesterday, well my therapist yesterday and talked about the whole cannabis card thing. She oddly enough said that it is a good idea. Since I am a minor though I have to get it signed off by my parents, but I qualify for all three of the major "symptoms" bad word choice but yeah. I was shocked she said that. She is a 60 year old women that grew up in one of the richest parts of Colorado, the same place Taylor was born, Colorado Springs, Colorado. Odd I know. She said she was going to call my doctor, and another doctor that dispenses cannabis cards. I was shocked. She told me if i do not want to smoke, I can have edibles or even lollipops, I think it sounds gross but I mean I'm really tired of my muscle spasms, horrible anxiety and stuff like that. So I'm on the fence about it, but if it is (and it is) for medical reasons, I do not see what the problem is with it. I talked to my mom and she straight up said no, I'm not going to even bother asking my step dad. He'd scream at me, that's all he is good at. SO I have no idea if my doctors will do. I've looked up all my medications.

It makes no sense to me, So I take a lot of stimulants and I take so many that when I work out my heart pumps so much, but after a while I get really tired and frustrated. I got sent home from work this weekend because of my anxiety and depression. Somehow they both.."hit" me at the same time and I was freaking out, and people could see it on my face. My boss was freaked out and so were my co-workers. I'm thinking that doing life guarding is not the best job for me. I have to basically babysit a whole bunch of los gatos brats who don't listen and then I get in trouble for it. My friend works at Jamba Juice so I'm thinking that would be better for me. I'm tired of those stupid kids. Even the parents are ridiculous.

Kick boards aren't allowed in the pool. Well only the parents can use them in the lap lanes, but the (boys especially) grab them and make title waves or end up using them as light sabers and start hitting each other in the head. I took them away from some boys... around 14 years old. Their mom was a ways away from them and she looked at me while I was taking them away and got out of the pool to get them more. I had to go talk to her about it to. I was so mad, but I kept my cool. She started arguing, and basically told me that she is going to bring their kick boards and I told her that I would either get my manager or I'd take them away too, and I walked away from her, and being the at least 45ish year old women with a brain capacity of a 5 year old decides to argue with ME about the POOL RULES which I did not even come up with. .

Kids honestly start running around the pool deck and I yell at them from the high chair not to, and they look at me hear me... and then wave and keep running. Its UNBELIEVABLE. I will never raise my kids in Los Gatos. 

Random fact:

My step dad only calls me by my name when company is over, and he has no friends so that is really rare. I have a whistle that I respond to, like a B**8y98. If you know what I mean. My siblings are "trained" as well. I was brought up so strict with that whistle that when I use to hang out with friends outside I'd run inside and they wouldn't understand what had just happen or what I was doing. Then I'd come back outside and they would just be standing there, and I'd give them a look of "what.." and they'd just look at me weird when I told them "I don't have a name".